


Never Be the Same

by glamglaceon



Series: Tales One-Shots [2]
Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 13:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3531194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glamglaceon/pseuds/glamglaceon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MAJOR SPOILERS FOR TALES OF XILLIA 2 TRUE ENDING!  PROCEED WITH CAUTION!</p><p>After setting things straight and returning from the Land of Canaan, the gang attempt to return to a normal life and to deal with their grief over losing someone close to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Be the Same

**Author's Note:**

> I actually had to re-type this. I was working on it and tried to switch to another tab, when my mouse accidentally clicked on the X button on my doc. So I lost the original DX. I will try to keep this as close to the original as I can. *ahem* Anyway, welcome to another of my fanfics, but this one doesn't have anything humorous in it. I assume you saw the warning and decided to read this anyway. If you haven't played the game and don't know how the true ending goes, I hope you are ready to get acquainted with it. I will be inserting passages from a beloved song of mine, which helped me create the title, Never Be the Same by Red. I am listening to this song as I type this to help me get into the mood.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Xillia or Tales of Xillia 2 nor do I own Never Be the Same by Red. They are copyrighted and licensed by someone else.

\----Never Be the Same----

_You led me here, then I watched you disappear  
You left this emptiness inside and I can't turn back time_

Knock, knock.

"Elle?"

Elle Mel Marta curled herself into a ball on her bed and didn't move. She stared at the door separating herself from the person attempting to talk to her. It was a few days after they returned from the Land of Canaan, having restored their dimension back to normal. She felt inside her jacket for the pocketwatch her father gave her before shoving her into another dimension. It no longer worked and that made her heart clench.

"Elle, please. Talk to us," the person pleaded. "You're not alone. We all miss him too." Elle could hear the person trying to choke back their own tears. A tear escaped her own eye and slid down her sticky cheek. "We have leftover soup from lunch if you wanted some as well. I know it won't be the same as his, but you have to eat something." The person paced the hallway before leaving her alone.

She knew that she wasn't the only one grieving, but if she went to them, the floodgates would come crashing down. She also knew that she couldn't keep holing herself up in the inn either. Both her father and Ludger (who technically WAS her father) would not be happy with her if she withered away nor tried to live her life. The young Kresnik stayed curled into a ball for a few more hours and listened as others attempted to coax her out of the room. The one she wanted to hear most hadn't come yet and she didn't blame him in the slightest.

After all, Dr. Jude Mathis was in a relationship with Ludger before Ludger sacrificed himself to shut all the remaining fractured dimensions.

\----

_I'll never be the same_  
I'm caught inside the memories  
the promises are yesterdays and I belonged to you  
I just can't walk away  
'cause after loving you, I can never be the same 

Jude Mathis wrung his hands together, gold eyes flicking toward Elle's shut door. He was concerned about her, since she hadn't poked her head out since they came back from the Land of Canaan. He knew he should go to her, but instinct told him to give her her space. Just like the rest of them, she was grieving the loss of Ludger, the man she nearly called father.

If you had told Jude a year ago that he would be in this kind of position, he probably would have you committed to the medical school in Fennmont to be looked at by a mental doctor. Back then, he would never have guessed witnessing a blonde woman stepping across the water to reach the research labs would have resulted in an adventure with the most unlikely people. He also would never have had the chance to meet Ludger Kresnik along the way. He thanked whatever gods could listen that he took Leia's insistence that he board the special train for her. He had gotten lost in Trigleph and was on the phone with her when a tall white-haired man asked him if he needed directions to the train station. While on the train, he never imagined he would see Ludger again nor that he would have met another person that he could call family, Elle Mel Marta.

The same girl he nearly calls his daughter. Yes, Jude knows that she could never be his, since she's technically Ludger's child, but he had grown close to her while being in a relationship with her father. The doctor could still hardly believe he had ever developed feelings for the man when he was still enamored with Milla. However, it wasn't long until he no longer felt so strongly to the Lord of Spirits and the feelings for Ludger intensified. It was a burst of courage that got him to confess everything to Ludger and could hardly believe it when Ludger revealed that he too had feelings for Jude.

On some of their dates, right before the end, Elle came along with them. She would go around sightseeing while Jude and Ludger watched her, holding hands. When they went to a local park, she sat between them slurping ice cream and joining their conversations. The young Kresnik couldn't call Ludger her father, nor could she call Jude that either, but she knew they loved her as if she was theirs.

"She'll come out," Milla said, snapping him from his daze. "I mean, she has to be hungry."

Leia rolled her eyes. "I don't think she cares if she's hungry, Milla. She's not quite like you."

There Milla and Leia go again, Jude thought.

"I understand that you are worried after Elle," Rowen said, standing near the window of the room, "but she needs time, as do we all." A sad look came across his face. "After all, she was terribly close to Ludger, just as you were."

"Maybe she just needs you to be there," Elize piped up. Her eyes still had some red to them but she had finally stopped crying.

"I think she will come to him when the time is right," Gaius rumbled in his deep voice. He sat on a chair in the room as if it were his throne back in Rieze Maxia. "She isn't a child. Not anymore."

The room got quiet. Jude agreed that Elle couldn't be quite called a child either. With what she has gone through, she could never go back to being a cheerful, happy child she should have been. The child she was when she was with Jude and Ludger.

Just as Jude pushed himself off the bed to go talk to Elle, the door creaked open. The splitting image of Ludger's blue-green eyes peeked in through the crack, tinged red. Jude nearly gasped with relief as he saw Elle slowly enter the room where the others decided to meet.

"It is good to see you, Miss Elle," Rowen murmured.

"Hi," she whispered. Her eyes caught Jude's and his heart sank in his chest at the sight of her.

"Let's go get something to eat," Jude said, smiling at her. "You must be hungry."

He waited til she nodded in consent before he ushered her from the room and into the kitchens. The inn was happy to let them use the kitchen for the duration of the stay, which was soon to be expired. Though, Jude mused, it did help that Gaius terrified them into doing so. As Elle sat down at the nearby table, Jude reheated some leftover soup that Rowen threw together. It wasn't quite the same as Ludger's but it would do. It was already decided that they didn't trust Alvin or Leia in the kitchen.

Jude watched as Elle slowly ate the soup, her stomach still probably not used to anything just yet. He wanted to reach across the table and pull her to him but he knew he had to be gentle and slow. Children were funny in that they came to you when they need you. He had dealt with children before back when he was in medical school but even then, it was nothing compared to what he was going through now.

"Jude?" Elle asked.

"Yes?" 

"Will it get any better?"

Jude almost asked her to explain but he held his tongue. He knew that she meant dealing with the loss of Ludger. He floundered mentally, trying to find the right words to say to comfort the child, but nothing came to mind. He kept silent as Elle finished the soup, her eyes still on him.

"I'm sure it will," he finally responded. "It will hurt a lot to begin with and it will seem like you want to roll over and die because it feels so bad. However, he did give his life to save us. I think it would be disgraceful if we just gave up what he gave us."

"I miss him," she whimpered.

Jude knew this was his chance. He got off his chair and crossed over to her, pulling her body toward his. "I know, sweetheart. I do too."

\----

Years later, when Elle was a teenager, she reflected on the day she opened up to Jude, letting out all her pain to him. Her heart grew warm when she thought of the man that was like a father to her. After the group went their own ways, he adopted her but let her decide on whether she will take his name or Ludger's or even keep her own. There were days she went to Leia's house because Jude was called away on important business. His spyrite technology blossomed and spryrixes were never needed again. Nearly everyone had one of their own except Elle. However, instead of being upset, she decided that Rollo and his litter was enough for her.

Elle chewed on the end of her pencil as she stared down at her homework in front of her. She supposed she better stop thinking about the past and work on her future while she could. However....

"GAH, I HATE math!" she nearly screamed.

"ELLE MEL MARTA, keep it down!"

\---- end ----


End file.
